Energy Drinks
by Drone person
Summary: Mordecai and Rigby buy a new energy drink. But what happens when Rigby doesn't pay attention to the warning label? Oneshot.


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Regular Show, or any of the characters in the cartoon. All Copyrighted material and Rights to Regular Show belong to Joel Gregory Quintel (Affiliation JG Quintel) and Cartoon Network Studios.**

**Any and/or all characters never seen, heard, mentioned in Regular Show belongs to me. The use of names and/or characters that are non-fictional or copyrighted to anyone else in this story is purely coincidental and accidental.**

**Regular Show: Energy Drinks**

It was another day at the park, the sun was up and everyone was doing their duties for the day. The thing was, there was a certain pair of grounds keepers who were not doing their jobs at peak efficiency. These two were none other than the park slackers, Mordecai and Rigby. Their job today was to rake the leaves.

"Man this sucks," said the lazy and obnoxious raccoon, Rigby. "How are we gonna finish raking all these leaves?"

"Quit complaining dude," The morally conscious and slightly less lazy blue jay, Mordecai said. "Just don't think about and it'll feel like you didn't even do anything."

"How do you not think about raking leaves when you're raking them now?"

"I meant about finishing raking them."

"Whatever man, "Rigby dropped his rake non too carefully."I'm tired. Wanna head inside and watch TV?"

"Dude, get back to work before Benson sees us!"

"Too late." The strict park manager and gumball machine, Benson, pulled up on a golf cart. "Rigby, get to work or you're fired!"

"But I'm tiiiiired."

"I don't care, get back to work! Also I have some other jobs you gotta do."

"What," Mordecai complained, "why can't you get anybody else to do it?"

"Because they're all busy. Skips has to go to the dentist, Muscle Man has a physical soon, High Five Ghost has a family reunion in the spectral world, and I have to take Pops to the bank to make a deposit." The said deposit was actually one-thousand lollipops, which Pops mistook as money.

"Arh, fine, we'll do 'em." Mordecai complained.

Benson handed them a slip of paper that described the other jobs that needed to be done. "I expect them to be done at the end of the day." With that, he drove off, leaving the two to moan over their misfortune.

* * *

><p>It was the end of the day, and Mordecai and Rigby were absolutely tired. Not only did they rake the leaves, but they cleaned the fountain, cleaned up the trash, cleaned the bird poop off the roof of the house, and danced for an evil wizard who threatened to destroy the park unless they did so. They returned to the house and plopped themselves on the couch.<p>

"Auuuuugh," Mordecai exclaimed, "I can't feel my arms anymore."

"Dude, I can't feel anything anymore." Rigby commented.

"Can't…reach…remote." Mordecai tried to move his arms, but they simply wouldn't move. He managed to move his leg on top of the table and pushed the "on" button on the remote with his feet.

When the TV turned on, it was at the beginning of a energy drink add.

"_Hey! Are you tired? Light headed? Can't feel anything anymore? Well don't you worry, because now you'll never have these problems again after you have Radical Baddical Energy Drink! It gives a bunch of tired wimps like you the energy you need to get up and get moving! So why are you just sitting there? Get up! Get up and get it now! NOOOOOOW!_"

The duo were awestruck by the add. It had everything they liked, an awesome narrator, awesome rock music, and a product that they both could enjoy to the fullest extent of its use.

"Rigby, we gotta get that drink. Rigby?" Mordecai saw his friend passed out on the couch. This gave him the idea to do the same, as he was also too tired to go to bed.

* * *

><p>The next morning, the two were at the corner store, buying a case of the energy drink. Back at the park, they had the perfect opportunity to test out the drink's capabilities. They were now tasked with taking down the remains of kites that were caught in trees. They brought the case with them and each grabbed a can.<p>

"Dude check out this label at the bottom." Mordecai pointed out. The label read:

_**WARNING:  
><strong>__DO NOT drink in large quantities._

"Pfft, warnings are for wimps! They're just there to keep you from doing fun stuff." Rigby complained.

"You shouldn't ignore warnings man, not after what happened last time."

* * *

><p>At an amusement park, a large group of onlookers were in front of a roller, witnessing medical units rush a raccoon into an ambulance on a wheel stretcher.<p>

"Mordecai," Rigby said, with fear in his tone. "can they reattach them?"

"I don't know dude," he was running alongside the stretcher. "we just gotta hope."

They entered the ambulance and drove off, passing by a sign on the ride that said:

**WARNING:  
>Keep all hands and feet inside the ride at all times.<strong>

* * *

><p>"Whatever dude, that was a one time thing, it won't happen again."<p>

With that, they popped opened their cans and drank a bit of the drink. All it took was a bit, and their pupils grew huge with energy. They immediately went to work, taking the pieces of kite down from the trees in lightning speed. Benson was conveniently walking by when he saw them take down the last of pieces. They immediately ran up to him with eagerness. They spoke in an extremely fast pattern.

"Whatelsedowegottado,Benson? Huhhuhhuh? Whatelsedowegottado?" Mordecai asked.

Benson was caught off guard, both by how fast they spoke and by the fact they were eager to do more work. "Uh, well the bathrooms need clea—" Before he could finish his sentence, Mordecai and Rigby sped off at a speed that nearly knocked him backwards.

From there on, in half an hour, the two energized friends cleaned the bathrooms, bought groceries, cleaned the roof, mopped the kitchen, trimmed the bushes, worked on the rock garden, washed the windows, washed the golf carts, mowed the lawn, cleaned the snack bar, and returned a sweater for Pops, ten seconds before the return policy was void.

It was still day out when all these activities were finished. Back at the house, Mordecai came in as he fell forward from exhaustion. All the sugar and caffeine in his system was used up and he became slow again. However, Rigby was still as fast and twitchy as ever, and both of them only had one can.

"Duuuude," Mordecai started wearily, "how are you still up like that? I feel like I got hit by a bulldozer."

"What?OhheyMordecai,didn'tseeyouthere,whyamIstillgoinglikethis?It'sbecauseIhadmore!"

"What? Rigby, the warning label said not to drink a lot!"

"Ididn'tdrinkalot,Ijusthadfivemore,fivemoreisn'talot,justfivefivefive!Say,dowehavemoneytobuyanymore?Igottahavemore!"

"Dude, seriously, you're freaking me out. Maybe you should just lie down, or something."

"NO!Ineedmore,yahereme,more!"

At this time Benson walked in. "Hey guys, after seeing you do well out there, I thought I congratulate you by giving you two fifty dollar gift cards to McHooligans!" As soon as he presented the gift cards, Rigby swiped one and ran out in a blinding speed. "What was that about?"

Before Mordecai could answer, Rigby came back after being at McHooligans. "Theydon'thaveanyenrgydrinks!Ineeeediiit!" He then launched himself at Benson, pinning him down to the ground. "IWANTRADICALBADDICAL!"

"Rigby, you better get off me, right now, before—" Benson wasn't able to finish as Rigby got up, grabbed him by one of his ankles, and started twirling him around and flung him far as the length of a football field.

"Benson!" Mordecai exclaimed in shock, "Okay, that's it! Rigby, calm down right now, or I'm getting Skips!"

Rigby responded by punching his friend square in the face and knocking him onto the couch. Then Rigby's eyes started to change. His pupils became slit, and his whole body started to shift and shake until he started to grow. He grew and grew, decimating the top floor of the house and its roof, until he was the size of a 10 story building! He bellowed a huge roar and marched away, shaking the ground with every step.

Mordecai was in utter shock after seeing his friend perform that. He came up with the only solution he knew could possibly work. "SKIIIIIIIIIIPS!"

The Yeti in question was already on the scene, looking over at the mess the house was in. "What happened?"

Mordecai explained about the drinks and Rigby's obsession to it that made him grew. "What do we do?"

"You don't have to do anything," Benson said, recovering from his flight. "I just finished calling the cops, they'll handle it from here!"

"What? Benson, c'mon, Rigby isn't himself! It's that energy drink he was having, it messed his mind!"

"That little jerk butt threw me four-hundred yards, I'm not going easy on him for a second!" Benson's face was red with rage.

"Benson, give us a chance," Skips protested, "I have an idea that could work."

Benson gave Skips' argument some consideration before deciding. "You got one chance. One! If it doesn't work, I want you to stay back and let the cops handle this!"

Both nodded in agreement and took a golf cart. They drove it out of the park and onto the city streets.

"Quick, where did you guys buy that drink?" Skips asked Mordecai.

"The corner store down the street, why?"

Skips did not answer. He kept driving to the intended destination, while Rigby was still terrorizing the town, destroying all buildings and structures that crossed his path. Already helicopters and law enforcement were on the scene, which retreated immediately at the sight of the beast.

At the corner store, Mordecai and Skips bought three cases of Radical Baddical Energy Drink.

Skips handed Mordecai a can. "Drink it!"

"What, no! You saw what happened to Rigby!"

"Trust me. The only thing that can defeat a giant monster is an even bigger one. Now drink!"

"But how do I change back? What if I'm stuck like Rigby forever?"

"Just don't think about the drink. Rigby got addicted to it and now can't stop thinking about it. Just don't think about the thing after you beat him and you should revert back to regular size."

The thunderous sound of Rigby's footsteps was heard outside. "Once you're fighting him just knock him out. Now hurry!"

Mordecai took the drink and started chugging it down as if his life depended on it, which it did. He kept drinking down the last 5 cans of the first case. That was all it took for Mordecai's transformation to begin.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, the city was in mass hysteria! Civilians were scattered everywhere, rescue units were trying to save as much people as they can, and the army was now on the scene, trying to fight the raging beast that was Rigby.<p>

"Attention giant mega raccoon," A military commander was speaking through a megaphone. "Stand down, right now or I'm going to order our tank guy to fire."

A private came up to the CO. "Um, sir, we left our tank ammunition at the base."

"What? Uh…okay, uh, monster thing, we're going to make that tank run over your foot, if you don't stand down! It's not going to do anything sufficient, but it's gonna hurt!"

Rigby ignored the threats and continued rampaging. He stopped, all of sudden, because he noticed something strange happening. He saw a blue mass start to grow and grow, until he realized that it was Mordecai, who also drank a large amount of the energy drink.

"Rigby," Mordecai spoke in a deeper voice, "stop acting like a moron and calm down!"

Rigby only response was launching himself at his best friend. The two were now locked in a battle of the ages, as they punched, thrown, bit, and jabbed each other around, destroying more buildings in their mortal struggle. Sometimes they used the remainders of the destroyed buildings to their advantage, either hitting each other in the heads with them or throwing the pieces at each other. Mordecai soon realized that the city was going to be a pile of steel and stone at this rate, and knew that this fight had to end.

"I'm sorry Rigby," Mordecai started. "But you made do this!"

He grabbed his friend's head started to force it to his back side. He lowered it so it was now directly against Mordecai's buttocks.

Benson and the others were witnessing the entire thing.

"He's not gonna—" Benson started as Mordecai lifted up one of his legs.

"He is!" Muscle Man pointed out, "Cover your noses!"

_POOT!_

The blue jay let out a massive flatulent attack on Rigby's face. The over whelming and disgusting smell was enough to knock the raccoon unconscious. He fell backward into a pile of his own destruction as Mordecai let out a triumphant roar!

* * *

><p>Later on, Rigby regained his consciousness and found that he was being looked over by his friend, Mordecai, who carried him to the park.<p>

"Uuuuuh, I feel like a wrecking ball smacked me around. What happened?"

"Dude, you turned into a giant monster and tried to destroy the city!"

"Woah, that sounded awesome," Rigby signaled Mordecai to help him up. "At least it's all over."

"No it's not," Benson came up to them with red rage on his face, "The whole city is barking up my butt for you two guys, so you're going to help them clean up the whole mess you made, starting with the house, right now, or you're fired! Now get to work!" He marched off, leaving the two to moan once again.

"Aw man, this sucks." Rigby complained.

"Yeah," Agreed Mordecai. "But at least we don't have to do work around the park for awhile."

**THE END**

* * *

><p><strong>AN And that's it. A nice oneshot that looked like something that would happen on the show,**

**Please R&R**

**-Drone Person.**


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